We wanted to mind our own business but... we couldn't. That mean manager made us do it by being, well, mean.
But first! Some other things happened. Things that you might not care about, Reader, but it's all part of the build up. I'll give you a minute to get on the edge of your seat.
1. Amber is too cute for her own good.
2. Coffee coffee coffee.
3. Whenever I see photographic evidence of my bangs pulled back, I promise myself (in vain) that I'll never do it again.
Horizontal parking on a vertical parking street? Everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - in that coffee shop stopped to stare and quietly point and be confused by that Smartcar's park job. Then the Smartwoman walked in like it ain't no thang so we all hung our heads into our coffees.
This blog post should get a little bit more interesting any time now.
By the grace of God Amber and I didn't have anything to do that day other than to hang out with each other. So, after coffee we went shopping and coveted all of the vintage home goods that we can't afford and don't need. You know, girl stuff.
1. The best weathervane.
2. Similar to the kind of chairbench I want for our dining room but Kevin hates.
3. Old Post Office Boxes.
Now, this is the part where that mean ol' manager comes in. Time to narrow your eyes, Reader, and get real disgusted.
While we were shopping we noticed that in the bargain purse section there was an elderly woman sitting in a chair, surrounded by three young ladies. The elderly lady kept going in and out of consciousness; her eyes barely open or rolling back in her head and her neck snapping from the weight of her dropping head. It was awful. The ladies surrounding her were saying "Wake up." and "Drink the soda." while they fed her the most Doctor prescribed miracle drug: Jelly Belly candy beans. Not only do they taste delicious but when paired with Sprite, these magical beans can reverse hypothyroidism and cure appendicitis.*
*This statement has not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration [source]
So, yeah, it was scary. Particularly for Amber who has diabetics in her family who have looked strikingly similar to the elderly woman running towards The Bright Light. Every time Amber's family members have been at the point that woman was, an ambulance was on its way. So, being the upstanding citizen she is, Amber began to politely speak to the cashier about this issue:
Amber: Excuse me, I don't mean to not mind my own business, but has anyone called 911 for that lady?
Cashier: What lady?
*Amber points to the elderly woman sitting less than 15 feet away.*
Amber: It looks like she is possibly diabetic, and I have family who is diabetic so I am worried about her.
*Mean Manager overhears Sweet Amber.*
Mean Manager: No one has called.
Sweet Amber: Okay. I am just concerned because it looks like she needs medical attention.
Mean Manager: *Quick, fake smile to show off how mean she is* Well, that's for her daughter to decide. *Snarl! Hiss!*
Amber walked out with her halo slightly bent and I followed with a very concerned look on my face. As the wife of a volunteer firefighter, I know what I'm talking about. I mean, I haven't had any medical training buuuuut I knew the fire department and ambulance wouldn't mind showing up for a dying woman. And Amber, sweet Amber, is the family member to diabetics, so she has some authority on the subject too! Besides, if that manager wasn't so mean we would've minded our own business. But she was mean! And we were concerned. So instead of leaving it alone, within 30 seconds of walking out of Ross's Dress for Less Amber had gotten on the phone:
Dispatcher: 911, what is the location of your emergency?
So she told him. She explained all about the jelly beans and the soda and the purses and the unconsciousness. She said she wanted to mind her own business and was even nice enough to leave out the part about the mean manager. After hearing the explanation the dispatcher stated that he had sent out the dispatch. He asked Amber her name and both of our faces - both of us - turned bright red.
Amber: Uhhh... Amber.
Dispatcher: And what is your last name?
Amber: I don't want to get in trouble!
Dispatcher: You can't get in trouble for calling 911 if you have legitimate concerns.
Before she even hung up the fire truck and the ambulance pulled in front of the store with their lights a blazin'. We sat in her car shrieking from nervous excitement and I exclaimed that they had pulled out a stretcher! This is so exciting! WE SAVED A LIFE! Buuuuuut... wait... I was wrong. And Amber was wrong. The crew went into Ross without a stretcher and less than one minute later they got back into their vehicles and drove off without the old lady. What?! Where was our satisfaction? Hadn't we done the right thing? Had the jellybeans really healed her?! Were we going to get in trouble?! You know, if the manager hadn't been so mean we wouldn't have done it! We did the right thing, yes? We did the right thing.
And that's the story of the last time I will ever show my face in Ross.