Five Five Five Five Five

If you are as obsessed with Instagram as I am, you may have seen the "Five Things" floating around. For those of you who haven't, you write out five things about yourself and then tag five other people. Simple enough.

In the blogosphere, bloggers started to write their own Five Things and somehow, by the grace of God, a finger was pointed my way. So thank you, Jessie, for tagging me. She certainly set the standard high with her Fives but I will attempt to wrangle up five fun facts anyway. Let's start with an obligatory selfie in my new glasses:

No, Reader, I'm not going to backhand you.

1) I'm pretty tall. The average height of the U.S. male is 5'10", so if I was a male, I'd be right on target... but I'm a woman. I reached my final height in 7th grade and (unfortunately in some ways) haven't physically changed much since.

A khaki polo shirted army of seventh graders.

Growing up tall, I always wished I was short. Until high school, there was rarely anyone in my class taller than me. On my first day of sixth grade, at my first year of public school, a boy in my class asked me if I was a teacher.

When I was 16-year-old cashier at Grocery Outlet, many classy patrons commented on my height. In fact, several people looked over the counter at me to check if I was "standing on a box." A BOX. Apparently they assumed I had the body of a chimpanzee; a person who was too short to reach the counter but somehow had a 6" wing span.

In tenth grade, a boy said: "There's no way you're 5'10"! I'm 5'10"*. You've got to be at least 6'5"." Six Five! ... He thought I was the same height as John Coffey the big, black miracle working prisoner in the Green Mile. So we got out the measuring tape and everyone was stunned that I was not lying and was not at least 6'5".

*He wasn't.

2) I enjoy singing, but I have a strong fear of doing it in front of other people. I can sing in my car like no one's business, but in front of anyone I balk. I can count the number of people I have knowingly sang in front of on one hand. First, was my cousin. We sang to each other over the phone - her idea - when we were around 10-years-old and it ruined me because she didn't seem to think I was very good. I realize now she just wanted an excuse to show me how good her voice was. Second was trying out for choir in sixth grade. I choked. Third, is my husband. Our best hits are Falling Slowly and You're Beautiful.

Oh, wait... I just remembered that I had a solo at Kindergarten graduation. It should be noted that I did not get this solo because of my talent but because I was the tallest in the class (all the shorties had duets). There is VHS evidence of the performance but since I don't have access to it right now I will just type my solo to you:

No, you can't get to Heaven.
Kindergarten Chorus: No, you can't get to Heaven.
In an elevator.
Chorus: In an elevator.
Cuz the number there.
Chorus: Cuz the number there.
Is a whole lot greater!
Chorus: Is a whole lot greater! 

This was my entire Kindergarten class.

3) Boring fun fact - my favorite flower is a tulip. Coincidentally, my sweet step-dad has the same penchant for tulips, except he loves red ones and I favor yellow. Last year we went to the tulip festival and we are eagerly looking forward for Spring so we can go to this year's festivities.

4) I LOVE dogs. The only problem with my love for dogs is that it's so deep, not many people can understand it. (Mackenzie, if you're reading this, I know you can relate.) I love dogs so much, it sometimes makes me want to cry. I can't go to a shelter without leaving in tears because I just love them ALL SO MUCH and I wish I could take care of them. I just want them to be HAPPY.

Don't even talk to me about this dog with arthritis or any hero dogs. I just can't take it.

I can't tell if my dog Belle is enjoying herself. She's always hiding her emotions.

5) In eleventh grade I briefly impersonated a friend of mine who had already graduated. It was photo retake day and I had a magical plan. My friend Heather Henson was visiting my drama class and I asked to borrow her glasses. I ran to the auditorium, filled out the form, and smiled for the camera. Then a few weeks later I went to get my new student ID. This is what I received:

My favorite part is the incomplete bar code and the "???" where my ID number should be.

I was very happy with my successful ID, so imagine my delight at the end of the year when I received my yearbook:

Yes, that's Heather Henson in the upper left and Chalayn in the row below Heather.

And now you know a little bit more about me... and Heather Henson.

Now I tag Mandy and Ashley and Rebecca and Molly and Colie. Now, ladies, I know you may not want to do this (you don't have to!) or, even worse, you may be thinking "Who is this creep that just "tagged" me?" I want to assure you, Bloggers, that you will probably enjoy this and also I am not THAT creepy.